I hardly ever wear makeup. Honestly, I’m not into it. Over the years, my attitude toward makeup has evolved from a strong dislike to a passive indifference to the entire practice. When I was a young child, my best friend was hosting a makeup party, otherwise known as a “let’s throw enough glitter on these 9-year-olds faces to make Boy George approve” party. (Fun fact: Boy George once came dangerously close to being crushed by a huge glitter ball. ).
I wasn’t really into makeup at the time, though. But in an effort to be a good friend, I let them do whatever glitter and braids they wanted to my hair. I didn’t completely detest that.
My interest in makeup never really grew stronger from that point on. I developed a serious obsession with nail polish in high school and allowed all of my cosmetics spending to gravitate in that direction. I also participated in the school plays, which required a friend or, worse yet, a stage mother to assist me with my face. It was particularly bad the spring I was chosen to play one of the Sharks in West Side Story. For days, layers of bronzer (and light racism) remained on my face.
I’ve had to answer concerns about why I don’t wear makeup for the entirety of this time and even now. Any longer, it’s not so much about hating the thought of lip gloss. Now that I’m an adult and have witnessed some of my friends battle concealer-related insecurities, I’m glad I’ve never felt the urge to rush into the nearest Ulta location. I’m aware that not everyone wears makeup to hide perceived flaws, but when I look in the mirror, I usually like what I see. It’s not that I don’t care about how I look — I do care about how I look. So why is the fact that I don’t wear makeup such a problem? Why should I spend hours perfecting the perfect cat eye? Do I really need to spend half my paycheck on makeup when instead I could buy a better brand of shampoo and awesome party dress? With mascara, I simply don’t feel that I look any better.
I’m not trying to be disrespectful to any of you ladies who like carrying around a big, heavy bag of makeup. There are numerous benefits to loving makeup. We are good as long as you appreciate your appearance both with and without it. The 12 things that all of us makeup-free women are so over dealing with, though, might be better left out of the conversation the next time we get together.
1.
“YET YOU WOULD LOOK SO CUTE WITH A LITTLE INSERT MAKEUP ITEM HERE,” someone said.
Depending on the speaker’s intent, this one might be the most derogatory of them all. I immediately think, “And I don’t look cute now? Gee, thanks.” in response to this. ”.
2.
Your eyes would truly pop, you understand.
I feel fine because my eyes are already the size of two large planets in orbit. I also knew because of the countless advertisements and commercials I have had to endure throughout my entire life due to your cosmetic fetish. You know, I’m familiar with how makeup functions.
3.
“DID YOU JUST NEVER LEARN HOW TO? THAT’S SO SAD!”.
Any time throughout my life, my mother would have been more than happy to instruct me. My friends are in agreement. Folks, it’s not like learning to ride a bicycle. Nowadays, YouTube tutorials are the primary source of learning for girls.
4.
The natural beauty of a woman is enhanced by makeup.
”.
But what if I already think I’m beautiful? Why enhance it, especially when doing so costs a fortune and only works after you spend years figuring out what works best for you? The dark, thick eyeliner phase that everyone else in high school went through makes me feel pretty fortunate. That didn’t really accomplish much of the “enhancing” you mention.
5.
However, why don’t you use it, I ask you.
Leave me alone, I don’t want to. Most likely, the response isn’t altering.
6.
“I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT; I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT MY __!”.
I apologize that you experience that.
My toothbrush and toothpaste are essentials for me.
It’s not that I neglect my own needs; I just don’t do it in the same way.
7.
“I’ll bet your bottom dollar that it’ll make you look extra nice. I THINK [S NAME] WOULD LIKE IT!”.
I have a ton of experience with this one, and no, I doubt my boyfriend would like it. Because my long-term boyfriend loves the fact that I don’t wear makeup, I don’t see why I should try to be someone I’m not if someone asked me out because they liked the way I looked. Like, he tells me I’m beautiful all the time and is so relieved that I’m so low-maintenance about it. I see, then.
- I will apply your makeup. I swear, you won’t even appear to be wearing any.
If I tried to go to sleep without washing it all off, my pillow would be the first to know, so what’s even the point?
9.
Is it a statement of some kind?
No, this isn’t some feminist rant about how the makeup industry controls women and how nobody should tell you how to look good. But even if they do still use makeup occasionally, I believe that women should adore the way they look without it.
- DO YOU REALIZE I’M PATHETIC FOR BEING SLAVE TO MY MAKEUP, THEN?”.
No. If you like makeup, that’s fine, but what are you talking about? I don’t. Pizza is a food that I enjoy. Do you think that turns me into a despicable slave to Papa John’s? (Honestly, I’d be cool with that. ).
11.
WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?
Apply as little mascara as you can and keep going, I think.
Wouldn’t the future husband be a little taken aback if I approached the altar wearing a completely different face?
12.
“WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO WANT TO LEARN HOW TO WEAR MAKEUP?”.
Then I would be delighted to impart the meager knowledge I have gained over the years as a woman and would advise her to learn about makeup from her friends or the Internet. Whatever. For me, it’s most crucial that she understands her natural beauty and learns to appreciate the face she was given.
