We were just sitting on the couch. Nothing dramatic, no hospital monitors or dim lighting. Just sunlight pouring in through the windows, and the soft hum of a cartoon playing in the background for my daughter.
Dad had been fading slowly for months—Parkinson’s, mixed with some kind of slow, cruel memory loss. Some days he’d call me by my name. Other days, he’d just smile like I was someone he once knew but couldn’t place.
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But that afternoon, he was sharp. He looked at me like he really saw me. I was holding his hand, and he squeezed it gently and said, “You turned out… better than I ever hoped.”
I laughed, brushing it off. “Well, I had a good teacher.”
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But he just shook his head slowly, his tired eyes studying me as if he were trying to memorize the moment. “No,” he said again, more firmly this time. “I didn’t teach you that much. You did it on your own. And I’m proud of you… more than you’ll ever know.”
I froze. The weight of his words hit me like a wave, and for a moment, everything around us seemed to disappear. It wasn’t the kind of praise I was used to hearing from him. He’d always been a man of few words—mostly tough love, encouragement wrapped in practicality. But this? This was different.
I had spent most of my life trying to prove to my dad that I was good enough—that I could make him proud. I always felt like I was chasing something that I could never quite catch, no matter how hard I worked or how much I tried to be the kind of person he wanted me to be. But now, sitting here, with him looking at me like that, it all felt… well, finally enough.
I didn’t even know what to say. I didn’t want to mess up the moment. “I’m just doing what I can,” was all I could manage.
His grip tightened slightly, his frail fingers surprisingly strong. “You’ve always done more than enough,” he said quietly. “I need you to know that.”
And just like that, the moment was gone. He drifted back into that space where I wasn’t sure if he knew where he was, or who I was, or if he’d remember the conversation we’d just had. But the words he’d said—those stuck with me.
The days after that conversation were a blur. Dad’s condition worsened rapidly. He passed away a week later, leaving a hole in my heart that I wasn’t sure how to fill. But at least, in his last moments, he gave me something I hadn’t realized I needed: his approval. His acknowledgment. Something I’d been waiting for my whole life.
Grief came in waves, and so did guilt. I found myself wondering if I had done enough for him. Had I been there enough? Had I told him I loved him enough? I kept replaying those final moments over and over in my head, wishing there were more I could have done, more I could have said. But when it came down to it, I realized something. He had been proud of me. The man who had always seemed so hard to impress had, in his final days, told me that I was enough. And that had to be enough.
The twist came a few weeks after the funeral. I was at my parents’ house, going through Dad’s things, trying to make sense of everything. There were old photos, keepsakes, and boxes of letters that had never been opened. As I was sorting through some of these, I found something I hadn’t expected—an old journal. My dad’s journal.
I was hesitant at first. It felt too personal, too private. But something inside me urged me to open it. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I opened the first page anyway.
And then I saw it.
There, in my dad’s handwriting, were words I hadn’t expected. Words that shocked me, but also made something click in my mind.
“I’ve always been harder on her than I should have been. I wanted her to be better than me. I wanted her to have a better life than I had, but I didn’t know how to show her that without pushing her. I hope she knows I love her, even when I don’t say it enough.”
I stopped breathing. The words felt like a punch to the gut, but in a good way, if that even made sense. I had spent so much time wondering if I was enough for him, and here, on the pages of his journal, were the words that told me I always had been.
It was a strange feeling, to realize that your parent’s love for you had always been there, even when they didn’t express it the way you wanted. I had always measured my worth by what he thought of me, but now I realized that the real measure of love isn’t in words or approval—it’s in the things left unsaid, in the moments that are shared, in the silent sacrifices made.
The journal became a turning point for me. I didn’t just find his love in those pages—I found my own understanding of myself. I had spent my life trying to earn love, trying to do things “the right way” to make people proud. But in the end, I realized that I was already enough. Just as I was.
A few months later, after everything had settled and the dust of grief began to settle into something more manageable, I began to look at my life with a new perspective. I started letting go of the constant need for validation. I began to make decisions based on what I wanted, not just what I thought others expected from me.
I started a new project, something I had been afraid to attempt for years: writing a book. It was something my dad had always encouraged me to do, but I had always thought I wasn’t good enough. Now, I knew better. I wasn’t writing it for anyone else’s approval; I was writing it for myself.
Then, came the karmic twist. I had no intention of publishing the book. It was more of an outlet, a cathartic experience. But one day, while I was at a coffee shop, an old acquaintance from my past, Mia, stopped by my table. She was a book editor, and after a brief chat, she mentioned she’d been looking for new, heartfelt stories to publish. She asked me what I was working on, and before I knew it, I was sharing the details of my book with her.
By the time we finished our coffee, Mia had offered to help me get my book published. The story I wrote, one that had started from a place of self-doubt, became a platform to reach others—people who had struggled with the same insecurities, the same feelings of inadequacy, the same need for validation.
That was when I realized something even deeper: sometimes, our greatest gifts come from the very things we fear most. In confronting my own vulnerabilities, I was able to create something that could touch others. It was my dad’s encouragement—his love, in its quiet and imperfect way—that had led me to believe in myself.
So, what did I learn from all of this? The lesson was simple but profound. You are enough, exactly as you are. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Sometimes, the love you’re looking for has already been there, just waiting for you to see it. And when you stop trying to prove your worth to others, that’s when the world starts rewarding you in ways you never expected.
Please share this post with someone who needs a reminder that they are enough, just as they are. Let’s help each other find the strength to believe in ourselves. And as always, thank you for being a part of this journey. Let’s keep growing together.
