It started with a text from my dad:
“Be ready at 11. Dress warm. It’s a date.”
At first, I thought he was joking. I even double-checked with my mom. She just smiled and said, “Let him have his moment.” So I threw on my puffer jacket and met him by the door.
We ended up at Costco. Not exactly candlelit dinner vibes, but the man had a plan. We walked through the aisles like it was a five-star restaurant. He made cheesy jokes in the frozen food section and grabbed samples like they were appetizers. Then we sat down with soft-serve sundaes at the food court, and that’s when he got a little serious.
“You deserve someone who treats you with respect,” he said, mid-bite. “Opens doors. Listens more than he talks. And if he ever makes you feel small, he’s not your guy.”
I just nodded. It was one of those moments where I didn’t really know what to say, but I knew I’d remember it forever.
That’s when everything started to sink in. My dad wasn’t just taking me on a random outing to Costco. This wasn’t some quirky way to bond over cheap hot dogs and oversized carts. This was his version of teaching me what a “real man” should be—someone who’s not afraid to be vulnerable, to show respect, and to lead with kindness.
We sat there, in the food court, eating our sundaes as the midday bustle of Costco hummed around us. He was serious, his eyes focused on me as if trying to impart wisdom I might not understand until much later in life.
“You know,” he said, spooning a bite of his sundae, “the world’s going to throw all kinds of guys your way. Some of them will charm you with their looks or their fancy words. But what matters is how they treat you when the lights aren’t on them. When no one’s watching. That’s when you’ll know if they’re really a man or just a boy playing at life.”
I swallowed, taking in his words. My dad wasn’t perfect—no one is—but he had always been there for me in a way that no one else had. Through every scraped knee, every break-up, every awkward phase, he had been the steady presence in my life. And now, here he was, showing me a side of him that I had never really seen before. A vulnerable side.
“I’m serious about this,” he added, his voice softer now. “If any guy ever makes you feel less than what you are—if he doesn’t respect you, if he doesn’t support you—then it’s not worth it. You deserve more than that. You deserve a partnership.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, but I knew he was right. I had seen it all—relationships that looked perfect on the outside, but were anything but beneath the surface. And I’d watched girls—friends, cousins, classmates—settle for less than they deserved. Maybe because they didn’t know better, or maybe because they were afraid of being alone.
“But how do I know, Dad?” I asked, finally speaking the question that had been sitting at the back of my mind. “How do I know when someone’s the right person?”
He paused, looking thoughtful. He was a man of few words, but when he spoke, it was always something worth listening to.
“You’ll know,” he said, with a quiet confidence. “You’ll know by the way they make you feel when they’re around. By the way they listen, how they respect your time, your thoughts, and your dreams. It won’t be a guessing game. It’ll feel easy, even when things get hard.”
I was quiet for a moment, absorbing everything he said. The idea of a relationship being easy—of finding someone who wasn’t just “right” for me but who also made me feel truly seen—was a thought I hadn’t really considered before. It was always about compatibility or timing, but what my dad was talking about felt deeper than that.
“I’ll try to remember that,” I said, a little embarrassed. I wasn’t sure how to handle the weight of his advice.
He smiled, finishing his sundae. “I know you will. And when the time comes, just remember this: If you ever feel like someone’s not treating you the way you deserve, don’t be afraid to walk away.”
As we made our way through the aisles of Costco, my mind was buzzing with his words. It wasn’t the fancy dinner or the grand gestures that made the moment memorable. It was the sincerity behind everything he said. My dad had taken me on a “date” not because he was trying to fill some void, but because he wanted to be the first example of what it meant to be respected, to be valued.
I wasn’t sure I fully grasped the weight of it all, but I knew I’d look back on that day one day and realize just how important it was.
Months went by, and life carried on. I found myself going through the motions of high school, college, friendships, and trying to figure out what my next step in life would be. I dated a few guys, had a couple of relationships that felt promising at first but ultimately fizzled out. There were moments when I thought about what my dad had said to me in that Costco food court—about respect, about partnership—and it always stuck with me, a small whisper of guidance in the back of my mind.
It wasn’t until I met Daniel that everything clicked. He was kind, thoughtful, and genuinely listened to what I had to say. He didn’t rush things or make me feel like I was just another person on his list. He took the time to get to know me, to appreciate my quirks and flaws. And, more than anything, he made me feel valued.
One night, a few months into our relationship, I was sitting with him at a small café when he looked at me with a kind of sincerity I hadn’t experienced before.
“You know,” he said, stirring his coffee, “I think you’re amazing. You’ve got this fire in you. I just want to make sure I never do anything that makes you feel like you’re not seen or heard.”
His words caught me off guard. He was echoing what my dad had told me all those months ago. It wasn’t a showy gesture, it wasn’t some grand romantic speech—it was simple. But it was everything.
And suddenly, I realized that I hadn’t just found someone who made me feel seen and heard. I had found someone who cared about how I felt. Who valued me for who I was, not what I could do for him or how I could make him feel.
That’s when I understood. The lesson my dad had taught me wasn’t just about relationships—it was about knowing my worth. It was about understanding that I didn’t have to settle for anything less than respect, honesty, and kindness. And when I found that in Daniel, it felt like everything had fallen into place.
But the twist came when I found out something I hadn’t expected. A few weeks into our relationship, Daniel told me that he had been to Costco with his dad every year, ever since he was a little boy, and that his dad had taught him the exact same things my dad had taught me. He shared stories of their own “dates” and how his father had always emphasized respect and partnership.
It turned out that both of our dads had been teaching us the same lessons in different ways, across different paths. Our families didn’t know each other, but somehow, they shared a common thread—respect, kindness, and the belief that love should never be a struggle, but a partnership.
Looking back, I saw the karmic twist for what it was: all along, my dad had been preparing me for this moment, for the person I was meant to meet, and for the love I was meant to find. And even more, Daniel’s father had been doing the same for him. It was as if life had been guiding us toward each other, teaching us the same lessons along the way.
The message I took away from all of this was simple but powerful: when you’re raised with love and respect, you begin to understand what it means to give that love and respect in return. And sometimes, life has a way of bringing everything full circle when you least expect it.
If you’ve ever experienced something like this, or if you’re on the journey to finding someone who truly respects you, remember that it’s worth the wait. And always remember, you deserve to be seen and heard.
Share this post with someone who might need to hear this today. Let’s keep passing on the wisdom we’ve learned, and keep spreading respect and kindness wherever we go.
