Getting that big promotion at work can feel pretty good, but have you ever wondered what the secret to happiness is? As we learned from fairy tales, once you find your soul mate, you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Perhaps your ambition is to start a family. If not, or if you still get poked in the ribs at family gatherings by relatives asking why you haven’t settled down, it might not be such a bad thing after all. Because unmarried, childless women are the population group that is the happiest, according to one happiness expert.
The London School of Economics’ Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science, asserts that childless single women are happier and healthier than their married counterparts.
In reality, though, things aren’t quite that simple.
Simply put, happiness doesn’t come in one size fits all.
In a speech at the Hay Festival, Dolan made the case that traditional life milestones, like marriage and having children, that we frequently regard as indicators of a successful or accomplished life, don’t always translate to happiness. “Women who never married or had children are the healthiest and happiest population subgroup,” he declared. ”.
According to The Independent, Dolan stated, “We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother. Happiness by Design, written by Dolan, has achieved great success. He references research from the American Time Use Survey repeatedly in his writing. Married, single, divorced, separated, and widowed people’s levels of happiness were investigated.
Dolan discovered that single, childless women benefited from living this way, but it would be oversimplifying to say that only they are content. Married individuals were also discovered to be generally content with their lives. Dolan, however, claimed that there were restrictions attached. According to Dolan, “married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is present when they are asked how happy they are,” according to Glamour. When the partner isn’t there, it’s f***ing miserable.
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The benefit of marriage, according to Dolan, is that it makes men “calm down. He asserted that once men get married, “you take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. Contrarily, she has to put up with it and passes away sooner than if she had never wed. That strikes me as being a bit outdated. Women’s traditional role in the home has changed, and many of them continue to work even after getting married and having kids. To portray women after marriage as merely resentful wives is incredibly sexist.
Dolan did point out that the pressures placed on people to find a spouse, settle down, and have kids may cause unnecessarily stress or unhappiness.
In order to lead a happy life, there is no right or wrong way. People shouldn’t be shamed for wanting to start a family and get married. But if you don’t want that, you shouldn’t have to answer questions about starting a family in the future every time you see a distant relative. It’s about living your own life on your terms and ignoring societal norms.
