When I married Harold, he used to write me little notes and hide them in odd places—inside coffee filters, glove compartments, even taped under the lid of the laundry detergent. “Just in case you forget how loved you are,” he’d say.
Now I’m the one reminding him.
It started with little slips. Names, appointments, where he put the car keys. Then one day, he paused mid-sentence and said, “Wait… what’s your name again?” with this confused, guilty look like he knew he should know it, but it was buried somewhere behind a locked door.
I smiled, kissed his cheek, and told him again.
Every day since then has been a mix of memory and muscle. He knows I’m his, even if he can’t always remember how. Sometimes I’m “the nice lady,” other times “the scarf girl” or “peach blouse.” Never quite my name. But he still lights up when he sees me coming.
We have this bench we sit on out back. He calls it “the waiting place.” No one ever told him to say that—he just started one day. Around sunset, he’ll shuffle out there in his Windy Oaks cap and sit quietly, watching the horizon like something important is supposed to happen.
I asked him once, “What are you waiting for out here?”
He smiled faintly, eyes still forward, and said, “She always comes around now. The woman with the kind eyes.”
That was the first time it hit me—he wasn’t waiting for me. He was waiting for someone else. Someone from his past. I wasn’t sure who this “woman with the kind eyes” was, but I felt a tight knot in my stomach. His memory wasn’t just slipping away; it was changing, reshaping in ways I couldn’t understand.
I tried to brush it off. After all, Harold had always been a romantic, a dreamer. Maybe it was some kind of nostalgia, some fleeting memory from his youth. But every evening, he would sit on that bench, the same look on his face as if he was waiting for a train that would never come.
At first, I joined him. We’d sit in silence as the sun dipped below the trees, casting a golden glow over the garden. I would ask him about his day, remind him of things we had done together, and most of the time, he’d nod and smile—his eyes still distant, but always warm when they met mine. But there were moments, quiet ones, when his gaze would drift to the horizon, and I knew he wasn’t truly with me.
I didn’t want to face it, but I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I was losing him in a way I hadn’t prepared for. It wasn’t just the forgotten names or faces; it was the gradual unraveling of everything we had built. The love letters, the inside jokes, the memories of our first date and the trips we’d taken. All of it seemed to fade, slipping through the cracks of his mind like sand through fingers.
I tried to talk to him about it once, sitting next to him on the bench. “Harold,” I said softly, my voice trembling, “who is the woman you’re waiting for?”
His brow furrowed slightly, and then his eyes softened. He looked at me, really looked at me, for the first time in days. “She’s the one who used to wait for me at the station,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “The one who promised she’d always be there.”
My heart sank. I knew, then, what this was. It wasn’t just some passing memory. It was a piece of his life before me, before we’d met. There had been another woman, someone he had loved before me. Someone he had waited for, and maybe, in his fading mind, he was still holding on to that love.
I took a deep breath and reached out, taking his hand in mine. “Harold, I’m here,” I said, my voice catching. “I’m here now. And I love you. I just… I just don’t know how to reach you anymore.”
He squeezed my hand gently, a flicker of recognition passing through his eyes, but it quickly faded, like a fleeting shadow. He smiled at me, but it wasn’t the smile I remembered. It was softer, distant, as if he was smiling at someone far away.
Days turned into weeks, and each sunset, I sat with him on that bench, watching the world change around us while his memory remained stuck in the past. The doctors had told me it was Alzheimer’s—slow, cruel, and irreversible. I had hoped it wouldn’t affect Harold like this. I had hoped I could find a way to help him, to bring him back to me. But the more I tried, the more I realized how little control I had over the situation.
One evening, after another quiet sunset, I sat next to him, my heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on. I had spent so many years supporting him, helping him chase his dreams, and now, it felt like I was watching him slip away—slipping into a world I couldn’t follow.
“I’ll be here, Harold,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. “I’ll be here, waiting, even if you can’t remember my name.”
The next morning, as I was making breakfast, I found something I hadn’t seen before. It was a small, folded piece of paper tucked inside Harold’s coat pocket. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the handwriting—it was his, but it looked different. The letters were shaky, not like the strong, confident strokes I remembered from years ago.
I opened it carefully and read the words, my eyes filling with tears as I processed what it said:
“To the woman with the kind eyes,
I’m waiting for you.
I always will.”
For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. He had written this for someone, someone he thought was coming for him, but his words… his words were for me. And something inside me clicked. The woman with the kind eyes wasn’t some distant memory from his past—it was me. He had been waiting for me all along.
I didn’t know how to explain it, but I understood, then, that this wasn’t just about me taking care of him. This was about us, about the bond we had shared for all these years. His memory might be slipping, but our love hadn’t faded. It had simply taken a different form, a quieter, more patient kind of love. I realized then that I didn’t need to remind him who I was every day. He knew, in his heart, who I was.
That afternoon, I sat with him on the bench again, just as the sun began to set. He was already there, looking out at the horizon, waiting.
“I’m here, Harold,” I said, my voice steady now, my hand resting gently on his. “I’m here, and I always will be.”
He turned his head slowly, his eyes soft, and for a brief moment, there was recognition—a glimmer of the man I had fallen in love with all those years ago. He smiled, and this time, it wasn’t distant. It was real.
“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”
And in that moment, I understood something deeper than I had before. Love isn’t just about memory—it’s about presence. It’s about showing up for each other, even when things aren’t perfect, even when the world changes. It’s about knowing, deep down, that the bond you share is strong enough to weather any storm.
As we sat together, the sun setting in front of us, I realized that I didn’t need to hold on to the past. I just needed to be here, in the now, with him.
And maybe that’s all any of us need to do—be present, love deeply, and let go of the fear of what we can’t control.
If you’re going through something similar, remember this: sometimes, the greatest act of love is simply showing up, day after day, even when things are hard. And in doing so, you may find that love, in all its forms, never truly fades. It only changes.
Please share this if it resonates with you or someone you know. Sometimes, we all just need a reminder that love is always worth the wait.
