It’s the little things he does that get me. Like how he always makes sure our son’s shark pajama shirt is washed before bed because “he sleeps better in that one,” or how he lets our daughter brush his hair—even though she’s mostly just poking his scalp with a Barbie brush.
People don’t always get him. Sometimes it’s the looks he gets when we’re out with the kids. Sometimes it’s the comments—subtle ones, the kind that come with a smile but leave a sting. Like the woman at the park who said, “It’s so nice to see a man like you so involved.” Like there’s a certain mold for what a good dad is supposed to look like, and he doesn’t fit it.
He laughs it off, most days. He jokes, plays it cool. But I see it. I see how he works two jobs, then still comes home and builds forts out of couch cushions. How he reads the same bedtime book four times in a row, even when his back is killing him and his eyes are burning from exhaustion. How he tries twice as hard to be seen as “enough.”
He’s not like the other dads. He’s not the one with the expensive golf clubs or the tailored suits, the one who has it all together with the polished, put-together life. No, my husband is more like the kind of dad who wears mismatched socks because the dryer ate the matching one. The kind who stays up late at night fixing toys with duct tape, and who uses his lunch break to run to the grocery store to grab something that was forgotten, all while trying to keep up with his demanding job. But to me? He’s perfect in all the ways that matter.
The thing is, we’re not a typical family. I’ve always been the one with the more traditional career—stable job, nine-to-five, clear trajectory. He, on the other hand, has struggled to find his place. It’s not that he isn’t smart or capable. He is. It’s just that his career path hasn’t been as linear as mine, and that’s caused him a lot of frustration. He’s worked as a mechanic, a delivery driver, even helped out in a warehouse. But every job has been temporary. He’s always tried, always given his best, but it never quite sticks the way he hopes it will.
Our friends, the ones who have their own families and successful careers, often don’t know what to make of him. I can see the way they look at him, sometimes just out of the corner of their eyes. And when we’re all hanging out together, they ask questions like, “What’s next for you? Any plans?” It’s as if they’re expecting him to have it all figured out by now, just like them. And when he doesn’t have an answer, when he just shrugs and says he’s taking it day by day, I see the shift. I see them exchange glances, trying to figure him out.
But I understand. I get it. His value isn’t in the job he holds or the title he carries. His value is in how he makes our kids feel loved, cherished, and understood. It’s in how he shows up every single day, even when he’s exhausted and life doesn’t seem to go his way.
And that’s the thing no one seems to understand. There’s this pressure on him, this idea that a man needs to have it all figured out, to be “successful” by someone else’s standards in order to be good enough. But that’s not the truth. The truth is that he is a great dad, not because of how much money he makes or the title on his business card, but because of the moments he chooses to invest in our children’s lives. The days when he’s tired but still takes the time to talk with our daughter about her day, to make sure our son’s favorite toy is fixed, or to sing silly songs in the car, just to make them laugh.
There are moments, though, when I can see the toll it takes on him. I see him trying to juggle it all, trying to prove to the world that he’s more than just a guy working hard for his family. Sometimes, when he thinks I’m not paying attention, I catch him looking at our friends with envy. The men who seem to have it all together—good jobs, nice homes, vacations to places I can’t even pronounce. He tries not to show it, but I know it gets to him. He wants to be enough, not just for me and the kids, but for everyone else too.
There was one day, though, when things took an unexpected turn. We had just finished a long weekend of running errands, attending birthday parties, and doing all the things we needed to do as a family. He was especially quiet that evening, lost in thought. When I asked if something was bothering him, he hesitated, then said something that took me by surprise.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be what they expect me to be. I don’t think I’ll ever have the career or the life that people look up to,” he said, his voice soft but full of frustration. “I feel like I’m failing sometimes.”
My heart broke hearing him say that. It wasn’t the first time he’d expressed those feelings, but it was the first time I really heard them. It wasn’t just about the job anymore. It was about his own self-worth. And I realized something important—that his self-esteem had been chipped away by all the external expectations, the comparisons, the subtle comments, and the judgment.
I wanted to tell him that he was enough, but I knew he didn’t believe it. I didn’t want to sugarcoat things or give him empty platitudes, so I just held his hand and said, “You are more than enough. You are everything to me and to our kids. Your value isn’t in what you do for a living, but in who you are when you’re with us.”
That night, as he lay in bed beside me, he turned to me with a small smile. “I know you believe that. And I’m lucky for that. But I still feel like I’m not living up to the world’s expectations.”
I thought about that for a long time. The world’s expectations. It wasn’t just about him, was it? It was about all of us. We’re all weighed down by these expectations—whether it’s about career success, social status, or material wealth. But those things, as important as they might seem, don’t define who we are. They don’t define how we show up for our families or how we love the people closest to us.
A week later, something happened that changed everything.
We were at a park one afternoon when a man approached us. He was older, maybe in his sixties, and his face looked familiar. He looked at my husband and then me, his eyes lighting up with recognition. “You’re the one who helped me out with that flat tire a few years ago, right?” he asked.
My husband squinted, trying to place him. And then it clicked. This was a man he had helped on the side of the road when no one else would stop. It was a small, random act of kindness that my husband had long forgotten.
The man smiled warmly and then, unexpectedly, pulled something from his jacket pocket—a small envelope. “This is for you,” he said, handing it over to my husband. “I’ve been meaning to repay you for that day. You didn’t just fix my tire, you made sure I was okay, you helped me get my kids back on the road safely. I’ll never forget that.”
My husband opened the envelope to find a check for a substantial amount of money, far more than we expected. He looked at the man in disbelief.
“I don’t know what to say,” my husband stammered.
The man smiled. “You don’t have to say anything. Just know that what you do matters. More than you know.”
And just like that, everything changed. The universe had a way of rewarding my husband’s kindness in the most unexpected way. It wasn’t about the job titles or the external validation anymore. It was about the quiet, unseen ways he made a difference in the world—the way he helped people, the way he loved his family. And that kindness was being returned to him in a way he never expected.
The lesson, I think, is this: we don’t need to fit into the mold others have set for us. We don’t need to measure our worth by anyone else’s standards. What matters most is how we show up in the world, how we treat others, and how we live authentically. My husband has always been enough—and now, he knows it too.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re not enough, remember this: your value is not determined by what others think or by your job title. It’s in the small, everyday moments that make the biggest impact.
Please share this with someone who might need a reminder today. And don’t forget to like and share the post—let’s help spread this message of self-worth and kindness.
