Truth: Nobody really knows how to declare their love for someone for the first time. It’s beautiful, raw, exciting, terrifying, and thrilling to navigate the hazy, terrifying, thrilling waters of a new relationship. In addition to being in awe of your newfound love, you are also eager for a commitment—specifically, the verbal guarantee that the heart you are increasingly putting in danger will be protected.
However, making sweeping declarations of love too soon can put out the flame of a new relationship just as quickly as not knowing how someone truly feels about you. You want to express your feelings, but you don’t want to rush into making declarations that might seem to imply commitments you’re not yet ready to make. Undoubtedly a pickle.
It turns out that showing someone you love them is something you do, not something you say. Words can be selected, altered, and manipulated, but, as the saying goes, actions speak for themselves. You can never be sure if someone truly loves you just because they have or have not expressed their feelings for you. Until time, facts, and experience fill words with truth, they are inherently empty.
It can be frustrating to try to guess how someone feels about you when it’s too early to express feelings like “I love you,” but the problem really just stems from our inability to recognize and understand nonverbal cues. In our daily lives, there are countless small ways that people subtly demonstrate their concern. You won’t require those guarantees to know that you are loved once you begin to notice all the small gestures, concessions, favors, and interests people make and accept when they are around you.
So, here are 14 nonverbal ways that people can express their love for you.
1.
Even when they aren’t overtly flirtatious, they regularly reach out to you to talk.
It usually means that they are very interested in you and don’t want to blow it by being too obvious or scaring you away, even though it can feel like the opposite is the case when someone is oddly reserved with their intentions but appears to be forward with their actions. It’s a common stance taken by individuals who are in love but are afraid to express it. Aim to find it. When the time is right for you, you’ll know.
- They treat you with the utmost humanity and simplicity.
They wish you a good night’s sleep and advise you to rest if you are tired. They share their jacket or allow you to rest on their shoulder. They check to make sure you didn’t forget to eat dinner (not because you’re helpless, but because you’re so busy doing awesome things that sometimes you don’t give yourself the time and care you need, and they care about your well-being). You are walked home. If you need water, they inquire. The desire to genuinely care for someone can be mistaken for merely being polite, but it is unconditional love in its most unrestrained manifestation.
3.
In addition to listening to your music, they also share their favorites with you.
Simply put, the music that moves people the most expresses what they truly want to say (but don’t feel they can) in the most direct and intimate way possible. You can learn a lot about your new partner by listening to a mixtape of their favorite songs. Intimate, hidden truths about oneself are revealed in this way. In the same way, if they recall, research, or otherwise show interest in your musical preferences, they are simply trying to get to know you better on that level.
- They enquire about the menial particulars of your life.
They are curious as to your lunch selections and academic performance. The latest drama with your coworker and what you’re watching tonight. Because they are the tidbits of who you are, these little details are fascinating to them.
5.
Even the minor details you mention in passing stick in their memories.
When you truly love someone, you tend to absorb the subtleties of who they are and what they do without even realizing it (until one day you discover you can recall details at random while attempting to maintain a non-creepy demeanor).
6.
They discuss the future and ask you what you want.
They genuinely want to know things like your long-term goals, preferred place of residence, and intended line of work. They use it to determine whether or not you might get along and whether your futures might eventually intersect.
- They learn more about the interests you have.
It won’t feel like a sacrifice or anything; they’ll just sit and watch the movies you enjoy and take you out for your preferred cuisine. They enjoy doing whatever makes you happy. Their joy appears to be contagious, too.
They make very light, non-sexual touches to you.
When it’s cold, they fix your sweater or wrap their arm around you; they take your hand and guide you to where you need to go. Even in the least sexual of ways, they just naturally find a way to touch you or be close to you.
You are put through a test.
They’ll tell you they’ve found someone they like or that they’re considering moving away, even if they don’t mean to. We’re all human, insecure, and weird, so we treat each other in ways like this even though it’s not the cutest way someone could possibly show you they care. They’re actually just attempting to gauge your response, but you’ll take it to mean that they aren’t interested. Do not forget that they are the ones who are afraid here, not you.
10.
Your mannerisms begin to be modeled by them.
Wanting to emulate the characteristics of those who are closest to you is a biological instinct. (It has to do with wanting to demonstrate to them that you are a member of their tribe in order for them to accept you. Sincerily, I don’t think it would be hard to understand how it would also apply to romance.
- They express regret when necessary (and occasionally even when they shouldn’t).
An obvious sign that someone cares more about you and their relationship with you than they do about being right is the ability to admit when you’ve made a mistake, were incorrect, or were unkind. Moreover, they must adore you greatly because being right is awesome. And when they apologize, it’s not always because they really worry that you’ll be angry with them but rather because they want to hear you say it’s okay.
12.
The things they appreciate about you are constantly brought up.
No matter what you do or how little they comprehend it, they’ll still think it’s great because you did it and it’s your thing, so they’ll think it’s great regardless of how little they understand it. Although they won’t express their love for you outright, they will tell you whatever they want.
13.
They are interested in learning about your past.
They want to understand your background and your starting point, or at the very least get you interested in responding when they share theirs. They want to be able to pinpoint your origins for your sporadic Southern accent or understand why the women in your family adore your wild hair. They are interested in the small pleasures you have known in life and the person you were before you knew who you were. Nothing is more bonding and sweet-toothed than this.
- You can just tell that they have been thinking about you. You simply know.
Little gestures like these let you know that someone is considering you throughout the day.
For example, they might pick up your favorite snack at the store or send you a funny GIF or YouTube video. (And hey, “I love you” expressed through Cheetos and cat videos is a life that anyone would be fortunate to lead.
Amen.
).
