Dating is weird when you’re disabled. People either act like you’re invisible, or they treat you like you’re made of glass. I’ve heard it all—“You’re so brave,” “I could never do what you do,” “You’re too pretty to be in a chair.” (Yeah, that one still makes me blink.)
So I stopped trying. Focused on work, friends, my plants, and binge-watching shows I’ll never finish. I told myself I was fine being solo.
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Then came Ajay.
He was new at the community center—clean-cut, tie too neat, the kind of guy who actually reads all the signs in a museum. I figured he’d give me that “polite nod and move on” routine. But instead, he sat next to me during movie night and asked, totally casual, “Is this seat taken?”
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I looked at him, then at my wheelchair, then back at him. “Technically, none of them are.”
He laughed. I laughed.
And that was the start of something I didn’t expect—something I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
Ajay wasn’t like the other guys I’d met. There was no awkward pity in his eyes, no uncomfortable pauses. He just treated me like a person. A person with thoughts, opinions, and, most importantly, a sense of humor. When he asked me if the seat was taken, I thought it was just an icebreaker. But he stayed after that. We talked about the movie, then about life in general. Then somehow, we ended up sharing stories about our childhoods—my love for reading, his obsession with old-school video games.
It was the first real conversation I’d had with someone in a long time who didn’t seem to be tiptoeing around me. After that night, Ajay kept showing up at the community center. He’d casually take a seat next to me, even if there were plenty of empty spaces. It wasn’t long before we started talking more regularly.
And let me tell you, I wasn’t used to it. I didn’t know how to process someone showing genuine interest in me. I had gotten so used to being a side note in people’s lives—either ignored or awkwardly “handled”—that Ajay’s easygoing manner threw me off.
One evening, about a month after we met, he invited me to dinner. I was hesitant at first. I hadn’t been on a date in… well, forever. “Are you sure you want to go out with me?” I asked, more out of self-doubt than anything else. “I mean, this whole wheelchair thing…”
He smiled at me, that same easy, disarming grin that had made me feel comfortable from the start. “I’ve been out with plenty of people. But none of them have ever made me laugh this much. Besides, I don’t mind a little challenge.”
And that was the thing about Ajay—he never acted like being with me was some kind of challenge. He wasn’t trying to fix me or make me feel better about myself. He just… liked me. No qualifiers, no adjustments.
That night, we went to a small, cozy restaurant that I loved. Ajay was kind enough to pick a place that was accessible, but I could tell he didn’t make it an “issue” like others might have. He opened the door for me, not out of some misguided sense of duty, but because it was just polite. He smiled at me in that easy way he always did, and I could feel my nerves calming. I hadn’t felt this comfortable with someone in so long. It felt… natural.
We spent the evening talking about everything and nothing. He listened when I spoke, really listened. And when it was my turn to ask questions, he answered them with the same openness. We had a lighthearted conversation about our favorite foods, and I joked about how I couldn’t be trusted with spicy food. He ordered the most ridiculously spicy dish on the menu just to see if I could handle it.
And I, of course, had to take the challenge head-on. I think he was a little surprised when I didn’t break down and cry after the first bite, but honestly, the embarrassment of admitting defeat would’ve been far worse. We laughed about it, and for the first time in ages, I felt normal. Not like I was on display or treated like someone who needed help, but like a person, plain and simple.
As the night ended, Ajay walked me back to my apartment, and just when I thought the evening was over, he stopped in front of my door.
“Hey,” he said, his voice suddenly serious. “I know this might be a bit forward, but I really like you. Not in a pitying way, not because I think you need me to like you—but because I do. I’ve liked getting to know you, and I’d like to keep seeing you. No pressure.”
His words hit me harder than I expected. I didn’t know how to react at first. Was this real? Could he really feel that way about me? I had spent so many years telling myself that my wheelchair was a barrier, that no one would ever be interested in me beyond some surface level, that the idea of someone seeing me as more than that was almost unfathomable.
But there he was, asking me out with no hesitation, no reservations. He wasn’t trying to be noble or heroic—he was just being honest.
“I’d like that too,” I finally said, my voice soft but genuine. And with that, we shared a simple, warm hug, and I knew that things were changing.
But just as I was starting to let myself believe in this connection, something unexpected happened.
A few weeks after that first date, Ajay didn’t show up for movie night. Then he didn’t answer my texts. I tried to give him some space, thinking maybe he was busy with work or just had a lot going on, but it went on for days. My heart sank every time I checked my phone, hoping for a message that never came. Eventually, I had to confront him.
I sent him a message: “Hey, we need to talk.”
A few hours later, he called.
“Hey,” he said, his voice a little uncertain. “I think we need to take a step back.”
My chest tightened. “What? Why?”
“I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he continued, hesitating for a moment. “And I don’t think I’m the right person for you. You deserve someone who can give you more than I can.”
I felt the sting of those words, even though I knew deep down that something like this was always a possibility. He continued, “I don’t want to hold you back. You’re amazing, and you deserve someone who can be there for you fully. I just… I can’t be that person.”
The phone call ended with both of us in an awkward silence. I felt crushed, but at the same time, I understood. I knew the world wasn’t always kind to people like me, and maybe he wasn’t ready to face that kind of challenge. Maybe I wasn’t enough for him in the way he needed me to be.
But life, it turns out, has its own way of teaching us lessons. Two months later, Ajay reached out to me. This time, it was different. He had made a decision. He wasn’t backing down anymore.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said over the phone, “and I realized something. You don’t need someone who treats you like glass, and I’ve been treating you like that, like you’re fragile. But you’re not. You’re strong, and you’ve been handling everything better than I ever could. I was wrong. I want to try again.”
It wasn’t just a simple apology; it was a deeper understanding. Ajay had grown in a way I hadn’t expected. And this time, when he asked me out again, I knew he was ready to be in this—not out of guilt, not out of some misguided desire to help, but because he wanted to be with me.
Sometimes, the greatest rewards come when you let go of your fear, and when someone is willing to grow with you, rather than treat you as someone to fix. I don’t need someone who sees me as broken; I need someone who sees me as whole. And Ajay finally understood that.
So, here we are—together. And I’m learning every day that love isn’t about finding perfection. It’s about growing, accepting each other’s flaws, and realizing that we’re stronger when we stand together.
If you’ve ever doubted yourself, or wondered if you could truly be loved for who you are, take it from me—someone out there will see you for your worth. And when they do, it will feel like nothing you’ve ever imagined.
Thank you for reading, and please share this post with anyone who might need a reminder that love doesn’t have barriers.
