So my husband, Damien, threw his back out last weekend trying to lift a box of winter clothes I told him could wait. Classic “I got it” moment that immediately turned into “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He laid down on the mat with a foam roller, sighing like he’d just run a marathon. I figured he was finally about to relax for once.
Anúncios
Enter our five-year-old son, Nico—shirt half untucked, holding a bowl of grapes, and wearing a serious expression like he just walked out of a medical drama. “I’m Doctor Nico now,” he declared. “Daddy, you’re my first patient. No talking unless I ask questions.”
I tried not to laugh as Damien gave me that helpless look like, please get him before he makes it worse.
Anúncios
Too late.
Nico gently placed a grape on Damien’s forehead. “That’s for energy,” he whispered. Then he made him do “wiggle tests” which, from what I gathered, involved flapping his arms like a bird and saying “honk honk” three times. Apparently, it loosens the back muscles.
Damien did it. All of it. Every single honk.
But the real twist came when Nico instructed him to get up and perform a series of exaggerated stretches. I wasn’t sure if I should step in or let them have their moment, but it was becoming hard to hold in the laughter. Damien, usually the one who is so serious about everything, was now contorting his body in ways I’m pretty sure he hadn’t done since high school gym class, all while trying to follow Nico’s orders.
“Alright, Daddy,” Nico said, holding up a tiny finger. “Now you need to balance on one foot and say the alphabet backward. Ready?”
Damien shot me a look of sheer disbelief. “Really? Backward? I can barely stand on one foot right now.”
“Do it or no more grapes,” Nico said with the kind of authority that only a child could pull off.
Damien, looking like he was about to collapse, stood up, wobbling slightly as he began the backward alphabet. “Z… Y… X…” he muttered, a mix of frustration and exhaustion in his voice. “This isn’t how I imagined spending my weekend.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, watching him do the best he could while Nico held a clipboard (okay, an old coloring book) and took “notes.” In a way, I had to admit it was refreshing. Damien, always so focused on work and maintaining the house, rarely took time to just be. But here he was, letting Nico treat him like a patient, doing ridiculous exercises that couldn’t possibly help his back, but somehow, it was exactly what he needed.
After Damien managed to get through the alphabet, Nico gave him a nod of approval. “You’re getting better,” he declared. “But you still need a nap. I’ll go grab your medicine.”
“Medicine?” Damien groaned, sinking back onto the mat. “Nico, I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I need a chiropractor, not a kid’s version of a doctor.”
But Nico was already on a mission, running off to the kitchen. I figured I’d better prepare for whatever “medicine” Nico decided to concoct in his five-year-old mind.
A few minutes later, Nico returned, proudly holding a small glass of water with a single grape floating inside.
“Here’s your medicine, Daddy,” he said, holding the glass out like it was the most sacred offering. “One grape for each muscle.”
Damien stared at the glass for a moment, his exhaustion and frustration clear. But then something unexpected happened. He smiled, a little grin that started small but quickly grew. “One grape, huh?” he said, taking the glass and holding it up. “Alright, Doc. I’ll trust you.”
He drank the “medicine” as Nico beamed, watching intently to see if it would “work.” I caught myself smiling too, realizing that this, in its own odd way, was exactly what Damien needed. No, not the grape-water concoction, but the chance to let go of everything for just a moment and experience pure, unadulterated silliness. He needed to laugh. He needed to be silly. We all did.
The next morning, Damien woke up looking a little better. Not fully recovered, but enough to say that he could finally walk without wincing. He even found himself picking up Nico for a cuddle and tossing him around a bit, something he hadn’t done in what felt like ages.
But then came the unexpected twist. Later that day, while Damien was finally able to help with some light housework, he twisted his back again, reaching too far to grab a dish from the shelf. This time, he groaned in pain, but instead of pushing through like he usually would, he froze. “Okay, okay. This time, I’m really calling it,” he said, wincing.
I sighed, walking over to him. “Damien, I swear, you have a one-track mind. You know you need to be more careful.”
But this time, I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t frustrated. I was just… concerned. Because I realized something that I hadn’t fully processed before: Damien was always pushing himself. Always trying to be the strong one, the one who didn’t show weakness. And for the first time, it really hit me that it wasn’t healthy for him. Sure, he was the rock of our family, but even rocks need to be cared for.
That night, after the kids had gone to bed, I sat beside him on the couch. “You know, Damien, you don’t have to do everything yourself. I can help. We can ask for help. You’re allowed to take it easy every once in a while.”
He looked at me, his face softening. “I know, but… I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to take a break. It feels like if I stop, everything around me will fall apart.”
I took his hand, squeezing it gently. “It’s okay to slow down, Damien. Life doesn’t fall apart just because you take a break. In fact, I think it might even fall into place better if we let ourselves rest.”
He sighed, clearly relieved to hear that, but I could see the guilt still hanging on him. The feeling of responsibility that had been ingrained in him for so long. I understood it, of course. We both did. But we had to remember that we were a team. And teams don’t function well when one person does all the heavy lifting.
Over the next few weeks, I noticed a shift in Damien. He started taking more time for himself. It wasn’t easy at first, and there were days when he felt guilty for taking a break, but the more he allowed himself to relax, the better he felt physically and mentally. And as a result, he was more present with the kids. He was more present with me.
And then came the karmic twist. One afternoon, while Damien was at the chiropractor for a real appointment this time, I received a call from a former colleague of mine. She was in need of someone to help with a freelance project that required a lot of the skills I had, and it was the kind of work I could do from home. The best part? It paid more than I’d made in years, and it was flexible enough that I could balance it with family life.
It was as if the universe had heard my quiet wishes for more balance. What’s more, Damien, with his newfound willingness to slow down, was more than happy to pick up the slack when it came to the kids’ schedules, allowing me to take on this new opportunity.
I couldn’t help but marvel at how everything had come together. By giving Damien the space to rest and take care of himself, we’d somehow both ended up with something that felt right—something that benefited us both.
The lesson here? Life has a way of giving back when you least expect it. Taking care of yourself, giving yourself permission to slow down, isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. And sometimes, when you let go of control, you’re making room for something better to come in.
So, if you’re running yourself ragged, trying to do it all, maybe it’s time to give yourself the grace to stop, breathe, and let others help. The reward might be more than you expect.
